FRIENDSHIP

Make new friends but keep the old—one is silver, the other is gold.

Friends... who needs them? Well, I do and my guess is that you do too. But friendships can be deep, shallow, short term or long lasting. And friendships can spring from activities, family relationships, someone you bump into accidentally—a zillion common and surprising ways. Friendships between animals can be especially gratifying. Dogs are often considered a man's best friend and that kind of friendship frequently begins when the man is a boy. Friendships between women, men, boys, girls, husbands and wives, soldiers, athletes, and employees frequently blossom into deep, lasting connections.

     

     

Activities are perhaps the most common way that friendships arise. But activities are prone to foster casual, fair-weather, on-the-surface relationships. You stop playing golf and take up archery or cycling. You reach the end of your enlistment. You move to a different town. You get laid off and find a new job. Your activity-related friendships wither and die... out of sight, out of mind.

But we've all had deep, long-lasting friendships that did not fade when we no longer shared an activity. Sometimes even when we still share an activity. Why did they go deeper and last longer than casual, fair-weather friendships? Your answers to the following questions might help you deepen the friendships you have now or find new friends. Your answers might also help you identify which of your so-called friends are not really friends at all.

• Neither regrets about the past nor fear of the future prevent your friend from living in the here and now of the present.
• Your friends are comfortable in their own skin because they've developed a strong, personal sense of self and what is right, wrong, moral and immoral.
• Your friends are consistently moral and therefore trustworthy from day to day.
• Your friends respond to the world as it really is because they are not influenced by hearsay, superstition, false premises and fake news.
• Your friends have a serious approach to what really matters in life.
• Your friends are a safe place to be yourself—no masks are required. You can laugh, cry, get angry, agree, disagree, and make mistakes without losing their friendship.
• Friends say what they mean, mean what they say and do what they say they'll do.
• Friends are people who have, like you, figured out who they are, what they want, and how to pursue what they want.
• Friends help you pursue what you want.
• Friends always do exactly what they say they'll do.
• Friends are reciprocal. They know that you give what you want and give it to you.