DOES YOUR PHILOSOPHY GROW CORN?

Food for thought ala the Plato/Socrates dialogs.

I walked into the bar and scanned left and right looking for Eddy. Then I saw him waving at me. I walked over and sat down.

"How you doing, Eddy? Given any thought to what we were talking about last night?"

"Yeah, gotta say right off the bat that I don't have a philosophy. And what does corn have to do with it?"

"Yeah, I can see why you're skeptical. Corn and philosophy. Apples and oranges. Corn is something real and philosophy is just ideas, things that aren't real.

"Exactly. Corn is corn. Period. So why are you asking me if my philosophy grows corn?"

"Because corn is just a metaphor for something real that your philosophy can grow to help you navigate the ups and downs of life."

"Okay, so I'm not supposed to take corn literally, but I told you. I don't have a philosophy."

"Everyone has a philosophy. We're just not consciously aware of the ideas, assumptions and values that guide our everyday decisions."

"Wow, that's heavy, man. So what kind of corn can I grow with philosophy?"

"That's entirely up to you. But I can give you some questions to ask yourself to get started."

"Ah, like Socrates and Plato. Those Greek guys were really into philosophy."

"They were, but most of what they got into was... well, excuse the pun... Greek to me."

"Ha! You got that right. Got lost somewhere between alpha and omega."

"Well, I did manage to get some of those Greek ideas off the ground, but every flight I took into the ideological clouds of their philosophies ended with a brain boggling descent into the everyday world of here and now with a metaphorical Thud! as the sun of reality melted the wax on my wings. Metaphorically speaking, I'd get up, dust myself off and say, "Whiskey, Tango Foxtrot! That was a rough landing."

"You and your friggin' metaphors! But dude! I gotta say, that was awesome! Your version of Icarus, right?"

"Right, but his flight was for real and mine was just imaginary. He fell into the sea and drowned."

"Nah, that was just a myth, but I get what you're saying. So what about those questions you mentioned a while ago? I'm thinking they didn't come from those Greek guys."

"Some of those questions did come from a Greek philosopher, Aristotle, but I collected most of my questions from modern philosophers like Ayn Rand and George Santayana. I got answers too, and not just from philosophers. Robert Fulghum, for example, who said, All I need to know I learned in kindergarten: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Put things back where you found them. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Learn, think, draw, paint, sing, dance, play and work. When you go outside, watch for traffic and hold hands.

"Fulghum's advice reminds us that philosophy isn't up there in the clouds. It's down here where the rubber meets the road."

"Wow, he boiled philosophy down to corn in kindergarten. Reminds me of the KISS principle. He made it so simple even a dunce like me can get it."

"He did, but your no dunce. I've encountered others who were not philosophers in any professional way but who put a simple spin on philosophy. Angeles Arrien, an anthropologist, told us to show up, notice what has heart and meaning, say what you know is true and accept the consequences. Amy Goodman, a free speech advocate, reminded us that life isn't about things. It's about the quality of our relationships and the meaningfulness of our work."

"That's some deep stuff. But simple, too. Makes me hot to get at your questions."

"Good, but stay focused on answering them to—"

"Navigating the ups and downs of everyday life."

"Hey, give me a high five. You been paying attention."

"Hell yeah. You're paying for the drinks so I'm paying attention."

I waved at the waitress, raised my bottle and made little circles with my finger. She brought us two more Samuel Adams. As she walked away, I removed the list of questions I had put together for Eddy and handed it to him.

"Your answers to these questions will grow corn in your philosophical garden, not weeds." "Yeah, every garden has some weeds. What kind of questions will grow weeds?"

"Stupid questions like, Why is there something rather than nothing?"

"Yeah, that is stupid. Who cares? There's already something, not nothing! Give me another one." "Are we really here or characters in a god's dream?"

"My brother asked me that a few months ago. I slapped him along side his head and asked him if that was me or God who whacked him."

"Good golly Miss Molly. That was a brilliant retort. Wish I'd thought of it."

"Didn't know philosophy could be so much fun. You got anymore like those?"

"I do and they're even dumber and sillier than those. If you kill time have you injured eternity? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Do birds choose which car to poop on? Does a frog make a sound if you're not there to hear it croak?"

"Geez, you're cracking me up. Would be fun to whip out questions like those at a party. Might get me laid."

"Or ignored because she thinks you're touched in the head. Depending on how she feels about science, religion and politics, you might have better luck with questions that get her to think."

"Ah, serious questions. Not stupid or silly. Got any of those?"

"I do. Were humans created or did they evolve? Does the universe exist due to chance or design? What is the meaning of life? Does the mind survive the death of the brain? Do gods and supernatural beings exist? Are we alone in the Universe? How did the world begin? How will it end? Is time travel possible?"

"Hmm... those could get me to thinking but except for the one about the meaning of life, don't think I could grow corn with any of those. Like you said, navigating the ups and downs of life."

"Why is the one about the meaning of life an exception?"

"It just seems worth taking a look at, you know."

"You're right. It's one of the more personal, serious questions."

"How would you answer that one?"

"Things have whatever meaning you give them. Birds don't think about the meaning of their life. They just fly from tree to tree, make nests and eat worms. But you might have an idea of what a bird's life means."

"That's deep, man. My parents told me the meaning of my life was up to God.

"I heard that a lot too but then I grew up and began to think for myself and realized that the meaning of my life is up to me."

"Cool. I like that. The meaning of life. Some of that corn you're talking about. Where'd you get this idea of growing corn with your philosophy?"

"I was on one of those New Age websites and read a quote by an American Indian named Sun Bear." I handed Eddy a picture of Sun Bear.

"Hmm... New Age. Yeah, read about those people. Touched in the head if you ask me."

"Yeah, most of their philosophies were too far out for me. But some were surprisingly practical and down-to-earth. Sun Bear's comment in particular helped me trade the wings of ideas for the feet of action. I remember thinking...

Corn. Yeah, doesn't matter if Sun Bear meant corn literally or figuratively. You gotta eat and you gotta be at peace with yourself. Navigating the ups and downs of life is both. You live by applying ideas, not thinking about ideas or debating them. Does my philosophy do something real, tangible? If not, it's just an idea, a concept. To hell with Icarus. It's sweeter than popped corn smothered in real butter to be down here where the rubber meets the road!

"Jesus, Joseph and Mary! You got some fancy ways of saying things. Popped corn. Wonder if the waitress can bring us some."

I waved at the waitress. She came over and asked if we wanted another round of beer. I told her yes and asked if she could make us some popped corn. She smiled, said yes and scurried off to get our popped corn and beer.

"Before you can put an idea to work in your life, of course, you do have to give it some thought, and there's the rub. Which ideas are good and which ideas are bad? History tells us a lot about good and bad ideas. Ideas that resulted in war and peace, feast and famine, progress and collapse. The Dark Ages were the result of a bad idea. The Renaissance was the result of a good idea. Like the past, the Present is the result of good and bad ideas in conflict with each other."

"You're spot on about history. Mine is full of bad ideas I thought were good and good ideas I thought were bad."

"Mine too. I've had a few regrets but not too few to mention. One of my friends was fond of reminding me that life is not a playground. It's a classroom where you get the test first and the lesson after." The waitress brought our beer and popped corn. I gave her ten bucks. She smiled and said thanks. Eddy popped a handful into his mouth. I did the same.

"I was a genius on the playground but a dunce in the classroom. So how do I get smart about corn, ideas and philosophy?"

I gave him the list of questions I had made for him.

"Your answers to these questions will bring the philosophy you already have to the surface where you can evaluate it, make changes and find ways to apply it to your life."

What do I value? What really matters to me?
What am I passionate about doing with my life?
What kind of society do I want to live in?
How should that society be governed?
What are my rights and responsibilities as a citizen?
What is the meaning of my life?
What do I passionately want to do with my life?
Am I free to choose one path over another?
What skills and interests have I inherited or acquired?
How should I live my life?
What makes something good or bad, right or wrong?
Moral or immoral, legal or criminal, wise or foolish?
Should I pursue my values or the put the values of others above mine?
Who are my peers? People who share my values?
Is my philosophy helping me be a better Person? Parent? Partner?

I watched Eddy reading the questions. After a moment or two he stopped, popped another hand full of popped corn in his mouth and washed it down with a long pull on his beer.

"Damn, this is some heavy stuff. Reminds me of a quote about an unexamined life being not worth living."

"Socrates said that and told Plato, his disciple, that reflecting on the past is a tool for discovering what really matters to you and how to live up to those values in the future."

"Socrates, one of those Greek guys. Well, no way I can answer them now."

"Of course not. Take your time. You need help give me a call and we'll get together again."

"You'll pick up the tab for the beer and popped corn?"

"I will, but here are some things to consider while you're struggling to answer those questions. It's going to sound like preaching but it's just my attempt to help you avoid some of the mistakes I made."

"Hey, don't mind preaching. Might help me pull the weeds in my garden."

"Weeds! You're really getting into metaphors. Wish I'd of thought of that one."

"Don't beat yourself up, dude. You've given me some good stuff to think about. You remember that Kung Fu guy on television?"

"Yeah. David Carradine played the part."

"That's the guy. In one of the episodes, Master Po told Kwai Chang Caine that when the student is ready a teacher will come. I was ready and you came. How cool is that?"

"Very cool, and you were hot to listen. I'm just paying forward what I learned from teachers who learned from their mistakes. It works the other way too."

"The other way?"

"Yeah, when the teacher is ready a student will come."

"Absotutely! I came so you must've been ready. So what will I learn from these questions?"

"They'll make you think, and thinking will help you discover what matters to you, why something is right or wrong, and how to make life worth living."

"Sounds good. I can hardly wait to get into those questions."

"Good, and when you do keep in mind that thinking is the mental equivalent of stepping back to see the forest instead of just one of the trees. Seeing things from farther away helps you see the big picture of how all the trees make a forest."

"Another metaphor... but I'm not complaining. They make it easier to understand what you're saying. Preach on, brother!"

"Amen to that. So metaphorically speaking, you are a tree in a forest of other people. Your answers to those questions are your values, your personal sense of what is right and wrong. But your values will also help you develop a public sense of right and wrong. That's the big picture."

"Okay, but how do I deal with all those other trees? I mean, damn. There's a zillion trees out there and no way am I going to agree with all of them."

"You're right, of course, and it will always be difficult to find people who agree with what you say is right or wrong, true or false. Stay in touch with your values and what you have experienced in your life. But be open to taking a fresh look at your philosophy if someone can bring factual, cause-and-effect evidence and reasoning to bear on the corn in your garden. Just keep in mind that truth always corresponds to reality."

"Holy mackerel. This ain't gonna be as easy as I thought."

"Navigating the ups and downs of life, and the other people in your life, never is. But take heart. The corn you grow in your garden will make it more likely that the things you say and do will be in harmony with your values. The values that you grow in your philosophical garden represent your pursuit of life, liberty and the happiness. What is happiness? The conscious awareness that you are in touch with your values, your sense of self—that you are on a path that makes sense with your head and your heart."

"Boy, you are one deep-thinking guy. Lots to think about."

Eddy drank the last of his beer and waved to the waitress. "The next round is on me."

I nodded agreement. When the waitress left, I said, "There's a zillion more things we can discuss but that's probably enough to get you on the road of... well, let's call it self discovery."

"Okay, but give me a preview of... let's call it the coming attractions."

"Okay, I'll mention a few. Reason and freedom are synergistic and reciprocal. When you are rational, freedom wins. When you are free, reason wins."

"Sounds like another version of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

"It is, in both a personal and public way. Another coming attraction we can get into is that people who have not developed a conscious set of values, a sense of self, tend to seek help from a psychiatristt or a priest. Psychology and religion are two very different kinds of mirrors. One reflects our mental state and the other reflects our spiritual state. But philosophy is the answer, not therapy or confession. Theology and therapy are concepts, maps of places that exist only in the words of a priest or a psychiatrist. And what are words? Just handles to carry an idea from one person to another, not the thing itself. Reality is not a concept or a map. It's the actual territory—a place where you live, dance, run, walk, work and play. Religion is focused on then and there, a time and place in the future. Reality is focused on the here and now, a time and place in the present."

Eddy pointed to someone standing behind me. It was the waitress. She set the bottles down on our table and smiled. "Didn't mean to eaves drop but what you were saying caught my attention. Confession worked for my sister and therapy worked for my ex husband but neither worked for me. Sounded like poppy cock and psycho babble to me."

"So what did work for you?" I asked.

"My new husband. He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

Eddy looked at her then turned to me. "Holy mackerel. The corn in her garden is her new husband. How cool is that?"

The waitress looked at him then turned to me. "Corn? What's he talking about?"

I gave her my card. "That's my website. Click the ear of corn on the front page. It won't answer all your questions but if it peaks your interest I'd be happy to meet you and your husband and explain what my friend here meant by corn."

Eddy leaned forward and gave her a ten dollar bill. "Thanks for the beer and the popped corn." He paused to point his finger at me. "This guy, like your husband, has changed my life and it all has to do with corn. Trust me. You and your husband will enjoy every minute you spend with him."